Do You Know How Much Your Friends Make?
I think it is natural to pretend you don’t care how much your friends make, but really find your self curious to find out. I have never fully understood why people treat their salaries like a secret vote on a hotly polarizing issue. While I do understand why some people are just not comfortable letting everyone know how much they make, I do not necessarily see any bad in sharing the information.
Maybe if more people were honest and shared their finances with friends, we would not have had so many people trying to showoff their success with cars and houses they could not afford, or so many people cashing in on home equity. Knowing about friend’s finances also may help ease weird tensions about taking trips or choosing restaurants. If two friends are far apart on the spectrum of money, there can be a strange dynamic about asking to take vacations or long weekends or even just choosing restaurants. Honesty about the reality of your finances can help eliminate this and maybe even help make a friendship stronger.
I also think its ok to feel good about your friends success and I also think its good to feel bad for your friends when they are down financially. Hiding behind or masking the realities of your finances with friends hamper these two situations. It’s hard to help out or refer certain opportunities if you don’t know your friends need them.
Of course, we all want to make a lot of money and we all secretly probably want to make more than our friends do, but none of that matters and if anything, it may be a driving factor for us to take chances and work harder to get ahead.
Has anyone had bad experiences sharing their finances with friends? What do you think, is it a good idea to talk bout money with your close friends?
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Comments
a good friend who works in a different industry once casually asked me how much I made. I told him thinking he meant well. He instantly snapped saying- “how could that be? Another friend of mine is also a phD in electrical engineering. He makes way more than you”.
Its always good to not ask and not tell about salaries. It will keep all the tensions & inhibitions at bay.
After posting this I realized that all of my experiences with this have been positive and I can see others reacting weirdly to knowing how much you make. However, I still think good friends wouldn’t get jealous rather be happy for you. I’m not necessarily saying you should go around wearing your salary on your shirt though…
When I worked at my former job (at a university) salaries were open. Everyone knew how much everyone else was bringing home. As a result, those friends I made at that establishment and I would share our incomes with one another as we all came from the same miserable location.
Other than that, I don’t really share my income with others–least of all family. I’ve received some really strong (angry/hostile) reactions from family members who make less than I do. Others have vaguely suggested that I should pay for meals/movies/presents more often/all the time.
I grew up in Appalachia, so having money/education still has a stigma attached to it. My father has frequently tried to get me to tell him how much I make and I refuse to answer. He is offended when a woman makes more money than him.